never have i reveal the real truth on this blog. but i will now.
all the unsatisfaction, hurt, anger, kept inside all these while and i just cant seem to hold it any longer.
trust is definitely a damn big thing for me. but he doesnt seem to trust me. he kept on asking me and making accusations that im always with some other guys even when he knows im home. im sick and tired of that. i keep on telling myself that he will eventually learn to trust me but 9 months have passed and this has always been the main issue and the cause of me to hang up the phone. im sorry to have made you pissed off everytime i did that. but i cannot take it anymore. i felt angry, hurt, silly and to the point of giving up everytime that happens.
what else must i do to make you finally realise that i truly love you and that you're the only man that i believe and trust in my life? what else do i need to fulfill to make you believe that i only love and adore you? what else should i say to knock some sense?
i've supported you when you are jobless, i've encouraged you to go on and give you hope when you were job hunting, i've helped you in whatever way i can even when it means i'm cashless, i've given you everything i could physicaly and emotionally.
but why must you still do this to me? why? am i just not good enough for you? i just dont get it. everytime i want clarifications, all you did was to gave up and let me win all the time as if i love to be the ultimate winner and to see you being a loser. how could i do that to you. never in the entire 9 months i was with you that i have the intention to see you lose or being a loser. never. it will definitely hurts me to see you going through that process. i just need your explanation and your willingness to start believing and to learn to trust me.
i don't give a damn what your ex-fiance did to you which makes you stop trusting women in general. whatever she did to you is not and will never be connected to our relationship but it seem that you're still in fear that whatever she did to you, i will do the same to you too. what the hell. first of all, i am me. i am not her or anyone else so stop comparing. second, whats past is past stop thinking about it. let bygons be bygons and third, i dont give a damn of the length of relationship you had with her or what happened to the both of you. if you have not realized, i have never or ever want to know about your relationship with her. so suck it in and move on.
please start trusting me. thats all im asking. i am not contacting what more seeing other guys. its only you that i want now and in the future. i have done and i will still do whatever it takes to make our relationship work. i love you. i really do.