all about her.
her name: Nur Hidayah

her birthdate:
10 December 1986




listening pleasure.


Music



darlings.
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 5:35 AM.
don't know what happened to me. just fucked up. just go away.

Thursday, November 27, 2008 @ 3:27 AM.
it's like finally i feel settled. well at least 70% of the things i need to prepare for PTC and the year 2009 is done. been superbly busy preparing stuffs that i need to.

alot have been going on and on and on for the past weeks that i did not manage to post. alot of emotional rides that i have to go through. things are just shaky, rocky, and definitely unstable. this state of mind is just running and running full of negative emotions.

stressful period of time. alot of decisions on hand that needs to be made. alot of dreams and ambitions that have to put on hold. damn. and the eyebags came for a visit again, sitting nicely at the bottom of my two drained eyes.

i've been very sensitive lately. when someone touched on the topics that is very hard for me to deal with, my eyes starts to tear. my heart race. my nose starts to sniffle and my hands begins to shake. how am i going to deal with all this alone. i tried to share. tried to confide but i don't thing anyone really undertands what im feeling and what kind of whirlwind im going through.

it hits hard on love too. i've been giving him a hard time this past few weeks. and he have to keep on reassuring me that everything is going to be fine. i just cant help it. i cant control myself any longer. i just cant keep on putting a smile when deep down inside im bleeding.

im bothered. really disturbed. i cant think straight anymore. i feel weak all the time. im drained. just all of it. just overwhelmed with negative emotions.

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Wednesday, November 12, 2008 @ 8:08 PM.
Happy 5 monthsary love.

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Tuesday, November 11, 2008 @ 3:32 AM.
Things to be done by end of this week:

Nursery
  1. letter identification score sheet
  2. reading benchmark
  3. developmental milestones checklist
  4. ul folio

K1

  1. ready-to-read checklist
  2. reading benchmark
  3. ul folio

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Monday, November 10, 2008 @ 10:37 PM.
just when i thought my grey skies is turning blue, thunder strikes. i'm having mensus and a very bad one. *grrrr* cant even get up from bed cause when i do, everything around me spins like a gasing. and to add on with my 'not 100% cured gastric'. sh*t. my tummy keeps on rumbling and rumbling and making weird loud noises. it's scary okay. if my tummy could really talk i think it would say something like this, "move away you gasses, let these hot thick blood go by" hahahha. soooo super funny.

am getting back to work tomorrow. going to finish up with the PTC stuffs. almost done with both classes actually. Nursery left with some letter identification and benchmark. K1 left with progress book and benchmark. going to finish up with the progress book for K1 by tonight. and the developmental milestones for two classes. so by end of Nov im ready for PTC that is if HFMD don't strike again cause i already have one case in my centre for now. hopefully no more.

okay got to get the ball rolling. chalo beteh.

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@ 1:31 AM.
"When i grow up, i want to be a teacher." that was what i used to tell mum when i was young. and here i am, 21 years now, i am a certified early childhood educator. i guess you can say that i am definitely proud of myself.

i had all my goals and wishes planned up when i was in secondary school. together with my bestfriend, Naz, we would plan at what age we would get married, who would marry first, what gift we will give each other on our wedding day, how many children we plan to have and so on.

and now, at the age of 22, we are definitely feeling that everything is drawing near. right babe? she's getting engaged next month. i am definitely sooo super duper excited for her. don't worry babe, i'll be with you through it all okay. and of course we would record on our small black diary composed for the 3 of us.im soo happy. so sooo happy.

and when yours done, ehem, my turn to stress. haha. hope everything goes well.

ttfn.

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Sunday, November 9, 2008 @ 11:13 PM.
went to Pahlawan with love yesterday. had fun as always. camwhoring most of the time. just the two of us. heheh. due to the lack of pictorials, let the picture do the talking for now okay? i need a break. heheh. and oh Happy 49th to dearest dad! love you.


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@ 10:08 PM.
it's up and running again! HURRAH!!!

beneath all the non-updates, sadness, anger, stress prevail.
ALOT has happened the past one or two months. full of miseries *note: miseries NOT mysteries* unfolds.

and to start it all off, my centre FAILED QCC. miserable numero uno. how depressing can it get when you know that you have worked your asses off just so to uphold the centre's name, reputation and standards. and how devastating it is if all these happens on the eve of Hari Raya. thanks to the you know who for spoiling my entire raya mood alrite. *grrrr*

so with all the low morale going on for the QCC, most of the staffs decided to rethink our own career path. to really reflect on whether we still want to continue on the quest of being an educator. it is a tough job. no joke. having to deal with loads of matters surrounding you for the benefit of the children under your care.

with all these i started to think about the enjoyable times i had while still studying in poly working part time basically under the customer service line. i figured that the drive that makes me want to go to work almost everyday is due to the know that i will meet different kinds of people and at the same time understand the need to deal with different challenges each of them brings. when i bridge that to my current job, i see it as facing the same challenges each day which, for me it is draining and definitely exhausting. having to face the same disciplinary problems each day is tiring. really.

so i decided to divert my career path a little to teaching enrichments. found one and was ready to spur on but it has no benefits whatsoever. more like 'got work got pay no work no pay' *grrrrr* that is misery part duex. irritating.

and the utmost one was my mood swings. its really like SH*T ok. it keeps on swinging and swinging and swinging. i got angry super easily lah. over smallest tiniest things or matters also i can get angry. super F*CKED up. *grrr* the pinacle misery of all.

now for the MYSTERY part. been having weird dreams lately which makes me wake up umpteen times during my sleep. just weird. which gives me headache. *grrrrrr*

oh wells, i hope it gets *better in time~~*

my wishlist for now is actually to go for a holiday somewhere. but dunno where. but in the mean time just want to spend the most and fun times with my loved ones.

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