it's like finally i feel settled. well at least 70% of the things i need to prepare for PTC and the year 2009 is done. been superbly busy preparing stuffs that i need to.
alot have been going on and on and on for the past weeks that i did not manage to post. alot of emotional rides that i have to go through. things are just shaky, rocky, and definitely unstable. this state of mind is just running and running full of negative emotions.
stressful period of time. alot of decisions on hand that needs to be made. alot of dreams and ambitions that have to put on hold. damn. and the eyebags came for a visit again, sitting nicely at the bottom of my two drained eyes.
i've been very sensitive lately. when someone touched on the topics that is very hard for me to deal with, my eyes starts to tear. my heart race. my nose starts to sniffle and my hands begins to shake. how am i going to deal with all this alone. i tried to share. tried to confide but i don't thing anyone really undertands what im feeling and what kind of whirlwind im going through.
it hits hard on love too. i've been giving him a hard time this past few weeks. and he have to keep on reassuring me that everything is going to be fine. i just cant help it. i cant control myself any longer. i just cant keep on putting a smile when deep down inside im bleeding.
im bothered. really disturbed. i cant think straight anymore. i feel weak all the time. im drained. just all of it. just overwhelmed with negative emotions.
Labels: holding on to faith.